5 of Air, Defeat

(2016), pencil on paper, 5.5"x10.5" backed with digital frame.

While the 4s are all about consolidation, the 5s are about an eruptive breaking of molds. The stability of the 4s grows unstable, and if we were comfortably settled with the previous cards we now go through a certain amount of pain and insecurity at having to adjust. The 5s are under the auspices of Mars whose somewhat violent energy is very appropriate to the dynamic of these cards.

For the Swords the 5 signifies an experience of humiliation, the realization of limitations, loss, fear, embarrassment and betrayal. The things we held firm in our minds and on which we built the rationality of our actions and our image of self-worth prove unreliable. We thought they were worth fighting for, but we’ve been proven wrong. So we almost feel as if we have been cursed. Experiences that our mind cannot rationalize touch our deepest fears until we may doubt reality itself. We feel as if we face aggression and rejection from all sides.

In a traditional deck we see three figures standing at the water’s edge under a wind-swept sky. The man in the foreground awkwardly holds on to three of the five swords while two more lie discarded at his feet and his two companions have turned away from him, one with his face buried in his hands. The Toth deck shows an inverted pentagram of blood drops with five notched and crooked swords in the center of each point surrounded by jagged and crystalline shards.

For my card I drew a spider wrapping up a locust that has got trapped in its web. Four more unlucky victims are stuck to sticky silk strands surrounding it. The image seemed to me to embody the helpless feeling this card can give us. Much as we’d like we cannot extricate ourselves from the mental web we’ve woven around ourselves. We become our own worst enemy as we are stuck in our own rationalizations and constructs. The more we struggle, the more we fight, the weaker we get and the more we entangle ourselves.

When we draw this card we have to ask ourselves if what we’re fighting for is worth it. It may be better for us to concede defeat than to stick it out in pure pigheaded stubbornness. If we persist we may be hurting ourselves or others. Perhaps we are not strong enough and should retreat in order to be able to fight another day. The card could point to one of those situations where you are doing the same thing over and over again with mulish determination and expecting different results. That’s not strength, that’s the definition of craziness. Remove yourself from the situation, assess the big picture, regroup and decide to either come at it from a different angle or perhaps to just let it go.

For a relationship-related question the card may indicate that we are stuck in a power struggle. We are too proud or stubborn to back down, but we are only hurting ourselves and the one we are fighting with. Perhaps you are stuck in a toxic relationship but unwilling to break it off, because that would feel like giving up to you. You may think that if you make one more effort your partner is going to come round to your point of view, but in reality you are stuck like a fly in a web.

If the card position points to a business related issue you are probably at a point where subconsciously you know that a project or venue is doomed. Sinking more time or investment into it in the hopes of salvaging the situation and coming out on top is probably futile. Letting go is not quitting, it’s reassessing the situation and concentrating on something that is actually worth-while and will be successful.

In your personal life and development the card may mean that you have ideas or a self-image that you cling to, even though you have outgrown them or they are not who you really are. What dysfunctional or self-destructive patterns are you stuck in? True strength would be to admit that things are wrong for you right now and to try and move away from them and change.

If the card is uncovered in an adverse or blockage position it could mean that you are blind to the destructiveness of some of your ideas, behaviors or interactions with others. They have become second nature to you and you are following the patterns with a mindless routine  – like invisible strands of spider silk they have you trapped without you even realizing it until they stifle you. Try to examine what’s going on and where you feel stuck and like you’re beating your head against a wall.